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Dear Mr. Limbaugh,

I began listening to you early in the Clinton Administration. For
years you’ve said you’re playing with half your brain tied behind your
back “just to make it fair”. For the same number of years, I’ve been
saying (admittedly to a much smaller audience), that if you ever
untied and started using the other half of your brain, you’d be a

That was all in fun (although I do believe it). But what I have to
tell you now is intended quite seriously. I’ve been involved in the
libertarian movement for 50 years, since 1962, when I was 16 years
old — almost before the word “libertarian” was in common currency. In
all of that time, we libertarians have learned to handle the Left,
better, I think, than the Right does. Partly that’s because we aspire
to many of the same things that they do — except that we really mean

And more importantly, we want to achieve it by ethical means. We
want women to be safe and secure, for example. Do we give them little
plastic whistles, or blue-lit telephones on college campuses, or hold
candle-lit “Take back The Night” parades? We do not. We teach them
to shoot.

And when we call it “Victim Disarmament” instead of “gun control”,
the so-called “progressives” look like they’ve been punched in the

We’re not afraid of “taboo” topics, either, because today’s
“nutcase” explanations of the way the world works is tomorrow’s given
wisdom. Gasoline, for example, is expensive, not because it’s scarcer
or harder to get than it was (in fact, it’s the second most abundant
liquid on Earth), but for purely political reasons extremely similar
to those that keep Third World people hungry on a planet awash in

You know global warming is a complete fraud, and talk about it
frequently. So is Barack Obama — the first illegal alien to occupy
the White House — but you appear timid, afraid to speak the plain
truth about that, and a great many other critical issues of the day
that would win you hordes of new listeners and the sponsors to go with

This young woman you’re accused of having mortally insulted: you
were right about her, she is a prostitute, but not in the traditional
sense. She has prostituted herself politically, to the vile minions of
collectivism. You should have said that, instead of apologizing and
looking foolish and weak in the process, vulnerable to even more
savage attacks. I believe the public would have been a great deal more
sympathetic with you, and more willing to listen to your side, if you
were more independent, and didn’t sound like an RNC mouthpiece all the

I stopped listening to you shortly after the campaign season began
because I got tired of hearing you mock and insult the only man in the
Presidential race who is intelligent, honest, and thoroughly sane: Ron
Paul. Only Dr. Paul has the courage to call out the crooks, cowards,
bullies, and lunatics of which the past several governments have been
very largely composed. In stark contrast, the candidates you tacitly
support are little more than store dummies without an ounce of brains,
spine, guts, or testicles among them. But they’re a credit to Disney’s

More to the point, not one of them has even the faintest shadow of
a clue about getting America out of the mess it’s in. Listening to
Gingrich, Romney, or Santorum rave is almost physically painful, like
hearing some maniac who wants to throw kerosene on a fire to put it

That’s enough for now. I suppose this letter is something of an
exercise in futility, unlikely to get past your gatekeepers (one
reason I’m making it public), but if it should, I strongly suggest
that you listen more closely to Dr. Paul from now on. I’m not a part
of his campaign, I can’t speak for him, but I’ll bet he’d have a
private conversation with you if you asked. I also suggest that you
read my book _DOWN WITH POWER: Libertarian Policy In A Time Of

Finally, you should read a little book by Major General Smedley
Darlington Butler, a 34-year veteran of the United States Marine
Corps, twice the recipient of the Medal of Honor, and, at the time of
his death, the most decorated Marine in U.S. history. The book is
called _War is a Racket_; as you read it, remember that when the great
Paul Harvey changed his conscience about the War in Vietnam, his
audience increased, and listeners loved him even more than they had

L. Neil Smith
Publisher and Senior Columnist, _THE LIBERTARIAN ENTERPRISE_
Award-winning author of 33 freedom-oriented novels and books
Look for me on Google, Wikipedia, Amazon.com, and B&N.com


1. Neale Osborn - April 5, 2012

El Neil- check the inbox- urgent e-mail sent re-this.
I LOVE how you said this! SO true, and SO likely to go over his head for one reason.

“With talent on loan from GAWD” means he can NEVER be a Libertarian, because he wants God’s laws to be enforced as government’s laws.

2. R.D. Bartucci - April 5, 2012

I never could figure out these True Believer assholes who claim to have a direct wideband link to the mind of the Great Sky Pixie.

If the ultimate ineffability (“hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin”) is so omnipotent – much less omniscient, omnipresent, omnibenevolent, and older than the Big Bang – how the hell could He need a gaggle of politicians and bureaucrats to ram His “laws” down the throats of the human insects supposedly created in His image?


As I recall, the very first Roman Catholic dogma-based Q&A in the old Baltimore Catechism read something like:

Q: “Where is God?”

A: “God is everywhere and in everything.”

Which moved me, at five years of age, to ask the nun: “Sister? If God is everywhere and in everything, how come we gotta get up early every Sunday morning and go to Mass?”

Never DID get anything but weaseling on that one….

3. Neale Osborn - April 5, 2012

I can’t understand those who fail to worship the inter-universal space squid whose fertile poop is the basis of all planets, and the seeds of all life. Proper worship begins with crisply fried strips of sacrament (calamari) dunked lightly in the Sauce of Squiditivity (marinara sauce), and concludes with a slice or piece of Tirimasu. On high holy days, you may add a nice al dente pasta dish.

Now THAT’S a religion I can sink my teeth into!

4. al perez - April 5, 2012

“Love the Lord your God above all things and your neighbor as yourself. This is the sum of the law, all else is commentary.”
Now will someone please tell me what the fuck this has to do with the crap so many politico religious (mis) leaders come up with?

5. Pondoro - April 6, 2012

So Mr. Smith’s cogent comments invoke nothing more that a tired regurgitation of “God Wins Law” [a pun of my own invention -- figure it out!] ?

It’s enough to lead one to believe that the fundamental tenet of ‘libertarianism’ is “First and foremost, believe in nothing”.

Neil, I do so admire the Smedley Butler re-direct. Where are all those ’60s boobers now who evaded the draft on ‘moral principles’?

Sadly, I fear that El Rushbo does not read — neither Butler nor Smith … and more’s the pity.

6. The Old Geezer - April 6, 2012

Greetings, Students. If I come across more curmudgeonly than normal, it will be because I broke my lower left leg in 2 places and disassembled the ankle joint last Saturday. It hurts like fury and getting around the house is agony. Any who, I fail to see any reason what so ever to give Mr. Limbaugh a moment’s consideration. He knows exactly who his target audience is and how best to pander to them. I think El Neil is right in surmising his letter won’t get past the slush pile.

Anyway, I need to go get a double shot of percs.

The Old Geezer.

7. Neale Osborn - April 6, 2012

Who, pray tell, are these “Students” to whom you keep referring? I tend to pick and choose MY teachers, as do most of my acquaintances. So, is there some school I have inadvertantly enrolled in? If so, I tender my resignation- I’m too old for any school other than the law school I hope to soon attend, and the school of hard knocks.

8. Neale Osborn - April 6, 2012

BTW- my sympathies on the breaks- that’s GOTTA hurt!

9. Donald Qualls - May 12, 2012

Geezer, watch out on overdoing the percocet — a double dose of the opiate in those won’t hurt an adult, but a double dose of acetaminophen (aka APAP, aka non-aspirin pain reliever, aka n-acetyl para-aminophenol — a chemical name I learned when I learned to convert cheap generic non-aspirin tablets into very nice photographic developer several years ago) could damage your liver — yes, even a single overdose can do it (and as few as two or three days exceeding the daily maximum, now at 3000 mg/day, can do it even if you never take more than 1000 mg every six hours, as can taking the daily maximum at four hour spacing instead of six).

Check with a medical professional, but it’s probably safer to have a tiny snort of something alcoholic (which will greatly enhance the effect of any opiate) along with your percs than it is to increase the dose of the tablets.